Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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