Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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