smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
