Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he had hair everywhere except his balls
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
