whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
