it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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