wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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