Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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