Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
