girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
