Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You are the jesus of drinking
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
