help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
