Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
