Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
please come you make the beer taste better
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
