My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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