Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
