This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
