Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
