I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
