Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
