Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
