I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Congratulations! We have a period
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