We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
