Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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