This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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