what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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