Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
