Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
