I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
