I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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