My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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