I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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