It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Success! We fucked roommates!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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