Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
