her vagine was all disorganized.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
