you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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