i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
