i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
