Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
