Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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