Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
