every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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