another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
