but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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