Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
