Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
