Christians are straight up FREAKS
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
