I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
