Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
