return my video game
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
