Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
