it was like his penis was on wheels.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
