watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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